T. Novak [AD-5577-E]
03.20.2024 04:01

And the first one appeared in 1970. All of this started happening after Project SOMA?

T

L. Ashford [AD-1069-E]
03.21.2024 15:17

Exactly... but beyond that, my minion friend, we’re pretty much in the dark. Even me... I’ve handled transient objects before, so the idea of it isn’t new to me. But everything before this has mostly been... inconsequential garbage... sometimes, actually literally.

Imagine pulling a bin from the archives and finding the wrapper for a god damn Whopper. Sure... cool, it’s from a spacetime deviation... but it’s still a fucking Whopper.

And Big Macs are better, anyway, so...

T. Novak [AD-5577-E]
03.23.2024 01:18

A tuna sandwich beats both, any day.

T

L. Ashford [AD-1069-E]
03.25.2024 16:01

T... I'm going to tell you a secret. Something important. Something dark. Somewhere in this building is a can of transient tuna fish. The fish was caught in another reality... a Spacetime Deviation. It then warped its way through time and space, fell through a black hole, and god knows what else to end up back here... in our reality! It arrived in the 1970’s. We had our most decorated Field Recovery Technicians recover it. That can of transient tuna fish now sits in the archive, and has been for the last 40-something years. Do you want to know the deep, dark secret? The mystery at the center of this whole building?

Somehow, through forces we don't understand, that tuna fish is still not expired, and is perfectly fine to eat.

There’s something very, very wrong with that.

T. Novak [AD-5577-E]
03.25.2024 23:13

Incredible.

If you can find this secret can of transient tuna, please count me in.

Anyway, we’re getting way, way off track here. Let me reel you in.

T

L. Ashford [AD-1069-E]
03.26.2024 12:57

I hate you.